“Winners are defined by their capacity for change”

Personal identity is a fraudulent concept; it is merely a short cut that our brain uses to make decisions quickly. You buy protein bars at gas stations because you’re healthy. You wear conference t-shirts because you don’t care about fashion. You order whiskey every time you go out because “You’re a whiskey guy”“. While this shorthand is useful, your personal identity does not exist nor does it define you.

You are not a sum of your inherent qualities. “You” is the conscious being that is currently piloting your body. We often mistake the “ourselves” with the qualities that we display through our actions and mannerisms. These actions are then consolidated into our Personal Identity.

During our lives, we’re constantly bombarded with the need to change. This is a constant requirement of the world around us. When we attempt to change (which we should constantly), we often look at our personal identity and develop a sense of self-betrayal. We feel that we’re being “Fake” or trying to be a different person.

This perspective is holding you back. All aspects of your personal identity were merely choices “You” made in the past regarding who “You” are. This is merely an opportunity for you to change those choices you made when you weren’t as Experienced or Intelligent or Knowledgable or Well-read.

• I’m an introvert -> You chose to be an introvert because growing up, you didn’t get rewarded for seeking out personal connections. This is a choice you can continue to make or change.
• I hate exercise -> You chose to hate exercise when you were younger because of a multitude of different reasons such as bullying or family identities (also fake). You won’t get bullied for going to the gym now
• I’m bad at public speaking -> You chose this identity. You can choose to override it with practise via Toastmasters or Improv or even volunteering to present company reports on Zoom.

When we think of what we’ve learnt in just the last year, it becomes borderline idiotic not to reevaluate your personal identity choices as you age.

Notes:

This is a mistake often made by immigrants in a foreign country. “I’m Irish so of course I drink”, “I’m Indian, so of course I’m going to be late”, “I’m Asian, we all want to be doctors”. A cultural identity is an important part of being yourself when immigrating to new country. But it’s important to understand that it’s still non-existent. You should pick the parts of your identity you like and are proud of. But you owe no allegiance to a belief that holding you back from your goals.